Your entrepreneur mindset is filtering your reality—shift it, break the loops, and unlock a calmer, clearer way to grow your business.
Your brain is filtering the world as you read this.
Every second, it's deleting signals it's decided aren't relevant to you.
Not maliciously.
Just efficiently.
The problem?
It's learned what's relevant from your past.
Not your future.
So the opportunities that exist right now — the ones that could change everything — don't even register.
You walk right past them.
That's not a discipline problem.
It's not a focus problem.
It's a conditioning problem.
I had a conversation this week with Dave Nyss, founder of Real Learning.
He spent years as a senior tech leader before he started applying the same thinking he used to debug software to something far more important: the belief systems running most business owners.
And what he said about why you can't see your own blind spots…
It hit differently.
Not because it's complicated.
But because once you hear it, you can't unhear it.
He describes something he calls your “unconscious brilliant layer.”
The part of you that already knows what to do. That already has the answer.
The part your conscious narrative is constantly talking over.
I'd love you to hear this one.
Listen to the full interview: https://youtu.be/sGaaT9t988k
KEY TAKEAWAYS: Entrepreneur Mindset Shifts for Flow and Clarity
- Design for Flow, Not Grind: Flow is that state where work feels light, focused and almost effortless – like following a trusted sat nav rather than fighting your way through fog. Instead of glorifying grind, notice the type of work, clients, schedule, environment that make you feel calm, clear and absorbed, and deliberately build more of your business to match those – then, flow becomes your default, not an accident.
- Debug Your Thinking Like Software: When you feel stressed, stuck, or are overthinking, don’t override it and push through – pause and “debug” the situation by asking which belief or assumption is making this feel hard – rewrite your mental code.
- Fix Your Brain’s Filters: Your brain constantly filters and deletes information it thinks isn’t important, based on past experience and beliefs. And so in business, that means you literally cannot see opportunities or solutions that don’t fit your current story. When everything feels hard, assume your filters are working against you and ask, “What possibility am I automatically ruling out here?”
BEST MOMENTS: Real-Life Entrepreneur Mindset Insights That Hit Different
04:35 – 💬 “ We can actually achieve a lot more by doing a lot less.” — Dave Nyss
19:02 – 💬 “ I focus on what is the missing piece? What is making it hard?” — Dave Nyss
22:16 – 💬 “ People say ‘I've got imposter syndrome’ – Why not get rid of it? …you can get rid of anything.” — Dave Nyss
35:13 – 💬 “ So much in business is wrapped around this we cannot fail mentality, which, for most people, just causes us to limit ourselves and do what is safe.” — Dave Nyss
36:88 – 💬 “ It should all be fun. If you could literally live by that mantra with regard to business, then you'll end up inevitably being in your zone of genius. Because the things that you find the easiest, the most fun, are typically the things you're best at.” — Steve Day
TIMESTAMPED OVERVIEW
00:00 Intro: “ Supporting Business Growth & Wellbeing”
07:30 Blind spots and unconscious brilliance
18:33 Practical techniques
30:01 Spotting what you are really good at
Episode Transcript
Please note: This transcript was generated using automated transcription tools and may contain typographical errors or inaccurately captured words or phrases.
Dr Steve Day: My guest today is one of the smartest guys I know. And I\'ve known him for a little while now, and it\'s a pleasure to have him on the show. It\'s Dave Nyss and he is the founder of Real Learning. He works with leadership teams to remove a stress, misalignment, and wasted effort in business. He talks about this being the red energy loops.
And in today\'s episode, he describes what those are, how we can break out of them. And how we can completely transform our future, both for ourselves and our business. By understanding the blind spots we\'re not aware of. And about how to help us to recondition our brain to conceive and manifest a future that we are truly proud to be in. Hope we enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed recording it.
Hey Dave, great to have you on the show.
Dave Nyss: I see you good to be here.
Dr Steve Day: Yeah, and we were just talking just before you came on mic, which we often do. About the fact we\'ve actually known each other for a little bit of time now. And we have had many conversations about what I think we\'re gonna be talking about today.
So I\'m really excited to share some of the stuff that you\'ve been sharing with me over the past weeks and months. And because I\'ve been really inspired by a lot of what we, you\'ve talked about. About how you are helping businesses, business owners specifically. And how you help them help their teams or their business is grow, and a lot more besides. It\'s a lot deeper than that and a lot more, a lot more relevant to, I think what many people go through as business owners. Which is stress and anxiety and self-doubt and all that kind of stuff.
So I\'m, yeah, it\'s a absolute pleasure having on the show. And I\'m excited to explore some of this in a bit more depth and detail. And also share your incredible knowledge with the audience. So thank you for being here.
Dave Nyss: No, always a pleasure. We always have great conversations. So I\'m looking forward to this one.
Dr Steve Day: Yeah. Cool. Okay, so let\'s kick off. I obviously know a little bit about what you do. But I\'d love you just to spend a couple of minutes, really talk about why you do what you do. And you know, what are the big challenges that you\'ve seen in the world that you\'ve decided to put your time and effort into making a difference about.
Dave Nyss: Well, that\'s a big one. I suppose I would start in a similar way to how I was drawn to work with you. Is that I really admire people whose expertise is almost something they\'ve overcome in their own life. So my love of coaching is I came to it quite late in life, I suppose. When I was just turned, I was 49, so that\'s nearly 20 years ago.
And I realized actually it\'s coaching on the side of life is really missing the trick. I, you know, I had a successful career up all of goes ups and downs. And even those thus who are high achievers and I would rather you as a high achiever. And we\'ve had similar conversations, we always have these doubts about our ability.
Even though, we get into successful places. And my journey was from a techy, geeky guy. I was very comfortable on my own, not talking to people. And then realizing that as you get promoted, you have to get good at talking to people. Which I wasn\'t really good at, and to, you know, and that\'s been a source of anxiety for many years.
And the biggest thing that happened with me coaching is I managed to figure out fundamentally why I was anxious in life and cure it. And that\'s what I really became fascinated about coaching. Because of my take on it, it\'s a bit like, I regard coaching as the way you can debug your life. Which may sound a bit strange for people are not techie.
But there\'s a big aspect of software and systems where you go and diagnose and fix what\'s wrong. Or rather not fix, but actually change it so it\'s for the better in some ways. And I realized that coaching is an amazing tool, and then I struggled to get it out there to do things, and I all had this idea of scaling. And what occurred to me pre COVID was almost, why are we not using it in everyday life in terms of, the business.
You know, in terms of, you know, like you do for your clients, you kind of streamline all their thinking. And then the most amazing thing is when you reintroduce through people really talented like yourself, and hopefully people go as me. Is when you first say your bit, everyone goes, oh, it\'s obvious, Steve.
Why have I never thought about actually drawing out a math of what I need to do? And that\'s what I enjoy about coaching is this idea that is kind of quite revolutionary. But not really, that we can actually achieve a lot more by doing a lot less. And I know you\'re an advocate of that. And that would\'ve probably been a strange thing for you maybe 10 years ago.
But now both of us are on the same page in realizing that we want everything in life. We want a challenging, fulfilling business. But we don\'t want it to take over our life. And we certainly don\'t want it to take over our health. But like we see in many stories in newspapers and things. So yeah, that\'s what driving me.
You know, I won\'t dwell into it. But there\'s certain parts of my life got really dark. And I got through that and I appreciate, you know, what other people are going through. And I figure I\'ve got something to help people. Make it a lot easier for them.
Dr Steve Day: Sounds good. I know you mentioned then, that sometimes the, when you\'re coaching people, it\'s stating the obvious.
But I think that the, what I\'ve got from when I\'ve been talking to you as well, is sometimes it\'s the unknown unknowns or the blind spots. And this is the language that you are familiar with as well. And I think that\'s sometimes the real breakthroughs can come. Yes, it may seem obvious after the fact. But it might not be that easy to uncover what the obvious fact was.
So how do you approach this? Like what is this, the blindness or the blind spots, so to speak. That you\'ve noticed are the most prevalent and the most important ones to uncover and overcome.
Dave Nyss: That\'s a really good point. And I think it\'s also a very simple point as far as coaching. Like I remember one piece of advice I got as you know, you all very advanced to what you do. And then someone says, you realize that coaching is just being a mirror? And I thought, yeah, of course. That\'s it. As you say, all I\'m doing is reflecting back to you things that you may or not have noticed. Which then leads to question why are people not noticing themselves?
Which is a deeper question. But one of the things I dress with people when I work with in that we have this unconscious side of our minds and we have a conscious side. And what I talk to people about is this thing which I call the unconscious brilliant layer that we all have. That\'s kind of masked by this conscious description we have of ourselves.
You know? And as you said, that you doubt yourself. I doubt myself because my conscious narrative is I\'m not very good. Even though there are moments I have unconscious brilliance. But the keys in the word unconscious, that means I\'m not fully aware of what\'s making me brilliant. So that\'s one of the conversations I often start with clients. Is actually to unwrap that and for you to fully identify with that.
And then competence becomes afterwards. You know, after that fact that you know exactly what you do. You can share it with someone who\'s really skeptical. Which is interesting. I think most of us who are intuitive, and I know we spoke about this and both of us being intuitive. So you do stuff you don\'t really understand why you\'re doing it. And there\'s a sector of society who quite rightly challenge everyone wants to know what is it? How do you do that?
The why question, what I call the logical frame. It just breaks us down into this, oh, I don\'t really know, I just do it. And then that crumbles people and it\'s no good in business. Because when we\'re selling to clients, they want some demonstration of proof and to say, I do this magic stuff, if you like. People are not gonna buy it.
They\'ll be fascinated by it, but they won\'t buy it. So it\'s a bit of a conundrum.
Dr Steve Day: Yeah. And it\'s interesting because I see it a lot in, when people are describing how they do their work as well. And whether that\'s the business owner or the, you know, it could be the sales person. Or the who, the marketing person, whatever.
And, they talk about this, well, it\'s just the way I do it. It\'s there\'s the, they can\'t see that it can be broken down. That it\'s actually, there is a method to the madness, so to speak. And, it\'s about how, for me, like as a systems guy, it\'s like how do I pull out the actual thought process going on behind a decision that\'s being made?
And that\'s for me, one of the biggest breakthroughs and eye openers that business, well, business owners of all their staff get from working together. Is suddenly they see the world differently. And you must get that from a different perspective. But in a similar way, you just suddenly, you\'re giving people a different pair of lenses to look at the world through, so to speak.
Dave Nyss: Yeah, yeah. No, totally. And I adding to what you say, say the biggest revelation is because your talent or your expertise makes life so easy. In that particular very narrow niche as it were. You can\'t believe that anyone else can have problems with it. So you kind of dismiss it, and you\'re looking for something that\'s really tough or big or whatever.
And so to get someone to realize that what they find easy is what everyone else wants. And that the biggest investment they could do is sit down with someone and just figure out how they do that, and how they can unwrap that, and what is the logic. What goes on in this, unconscious coding. Everything that, you know, that\'s there. That quite often when you talk to people about training people. They say, I want to be, get to the point where I don\'t even have to think about it.
Okay, well, there\'s an aspiration for you. There\'s lots of things that you\'ve done in your life. Who you got to the stage where you don\'t need to think about it anymore, consciously that is. We obviously that you and I know there\'s thoughts going on all the time. But it\'s the conscious thoughts that most people who are untrained in mindset, which is a lot of people in business. And I would put myself in that category up until I get coaching.
I knew some. But I would say I was completely literate compared to the skills I have now. You know, in terms of what you might say, if you, I know you are a fan of skiing. And going to a good coach. Who can look at the way that you are doing your skiing and can not only see what small adjustments can make, but actually communicate those to you. And you make those adjustments and suddenly everything\'s flowing.
You know, life, skiing down the mountain is just effortless. And that\'s what my aim is in business, to give people those adjustments. So they can make things effortless. But that\'s a real struggle because there\'s so much out there that people say, well, business is a struggle. So therefore, I\'m sure many people were and I was there. I\'m struggling, so I must be doing things right.
Whereas now I flip that and I think you\'re on that page. Where if I\'m struggling, I take a step back and say, no, no, I must be doing something wrong. Life isn\'t supposed to be easy, sorry, hard like this unless I\'m learning something. In which case we go stages. And I know you do this as well in terms of making, almost incremental pass through what people might call mastery in some sense. Where each level goes to another level.
So, yeah, it\'s fascinating I think how language actually gets in the way. And helping people understand and choose different language. There\'s different language practice which, you know, opens new doors. And that\'s certainly true of sales. Where you can use different language, different phrases and switch people from, I\'m not really interested to, ooh, that sounds fascinating, Steve, can you tell me more? And then you\'re onto a sort of more buying conversation than sort of a strong arm selling, manipulating people into buying your products.
Dr Steve Day: Oh, interesting. And can you give some, like, this is fascinating stuff. Is there any examples like typical things that you\'ve noticed? That you\'ve seen people that, I\'m just thinking of people listening now, and the theory sounds good. But they like, some concrete examples. Some life examples of what are the kind of things that people are blind off? What are the kind of things that when you\'ve worked them? Or like anything that people can go away is a self exercise they can do, try not work out where their actual blind spots are? And actually do something about it on their own?
Dave Nyss: Good question. I would say what leads me to say, if you\'re not feeling at peace with yourself, then you\'re into this other side. So I have a terminology which I use for clients of like red energy and green energy. Green being in the flow, where everything\'s effortless.
And the obvious thing I use for people, because I want everyone to think of every day I say, go and make a cup of tea. Like, like it\'s effortless, you know. And I can go into the kitchen whenever I want to and I just make a cup of tea. I can even think and do other things at the same time. I suppose that\'s a surprise a lot of people would think men could do two things at once.
I can boil a kettle and think could do things. And people say, that\'s a true example. I said, yeah, but there was a time in my life when I couldn\'t make a cup of tea. In fact, there was a time in my life where I didn\'t need cups of tea existed. My parents moved around with things attached to the end of their arm.
But I wasn\'t fascinated by it. Until I realized that my parents ate biscuits with cups of tea. So I was more interested in having biscuits. I learned that if I could ask for a cup of tea. I\'ve got a biscuit and I could dunk a bit biscuit when I was, you know, seven or whatever. And then there\'s a point that you get to, well, how do I make a cup of tea?
And then there\'s the danger of pouring the hot water and everything else that goes on with that, and then suddenly you learn how to make a cup of tea and it progresses from that. So for me, that\'s a great example of something in everyday life that as a 5-year-old, I wasn\'t aware that existed. And as a business owner, there are things around that I don\'t even know exist, and I don\'t recognize it. And my mind will just delete it. Because I haven\'t said it\'s important.
And that\'s one of the interesting things you get to know as a coach. Is that, your mind is this filtering machine that completely deletes things which are not relevant to you. And so, experience teaches you what is relevant and what is not relevant. And therefore it\'s a big surprise for a lot of clients. To know that they\'re deleting all these things and not noticing big opportunities around them. And it takes a while for people to do that.
Because they\'re looking around going, well, what do you mean I can\'t see it? It\'s kind of weird to know that actually there\'s a, like there\'s a filter software or filter behind your eyes or your head or whatever. Just deleting energy signals that you can\'t see. Until you are clued into it.
And then you go, hang on, there\'s a whole different world here, and you keep reminding yourself. If I\'m struggling, it\'s probably because my mind is deleting something that I need to be aware of. And then you start getting that awareness. And from that, like I say, oh, there\'s a cup of tea, I want the biscuits. Then you start down that journey of how do you do that.
And that\'s true of everything that we do. And so it\'s collapsed in a lot of books. But most books that written about success talk about working hard, you know, committing yourself, and all of that. And I think you and I are now on a page where we\'re running against that.
We\'ve done all that. We\'ve got some success in that. And we\'ve also had a lot of, as you said, stress, which leads to health problems. And as you grow older, you go, I don\'t wanna be successful, and not have full life, sorry, full health when I\'m in my seventies. Can I have both, you know?
And therefore, it\'s interesting we\'re I think on this journey. Of how do we have full health and how do we have full wealth and how do we have joy every day? And it is possible if you just remember at all times, your mind is this amazing, filtering machine, and it has an unlimited array of filters.
And the way I go to people, if you\'ve got an ambition, that means you\'re supposed to have it in your life. That\'s the whole point of the ambition. It\'s like a signal to your mind. And the only reason that you\'re not having it is you\'ve got some filters. Which are almost switching it off and not making it available.
Now it takes a while for people to really get that. You know, there\'s books, very famous books. What\'s the one? Think and Grow Rich. Which is probably the biggest selling book in personal development, Napoleon Hill. Millions and millions of copies. Then why aren\'t there millions and millions of entrepreneurs who are wealthy, making a bigger impact?
It\'s because there\'s, you read it, and it sounds good. But your mind will work against you. And that\'s the essence. You have to know that when your belief system is getting you to believe the wrong thing. But as I said to my clients, that\'s the point of a belief system. It\'s there to prove things true.
So you have to sort of look around the corners of the beliefs. Which is where I believe you and I add real value to our clients. By just mirroring the other things that people aren\'t really noticing. And then they can see hidden opportunities as I\'d call it, by just looking at things differently.
Dr Steve Day: Yeah. Very cool. Yeah, I remember a little while ago I wrote, I read, Joe Dispenza, Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself. Which is very much on this track about the conditioning that we\'ve had up at this point in our lives is basically how we make filter, as you say. Any decision, any influence we have is always goes through the filter of our conditioning. To put it into really simple terms.
And I think that is this Think and Grow Rich approach to the well, like how do we create a possible future that we actually believe in. Enough to see the opportunities available to us to get us there. And that for me was fascinating. About how you actually because the neuroplasticity of the brain. And about conscious, consciously living a perceived future or a wanted future. And actually trying to experience the motions behind that and do that time and time again.
I\'ll hold my hands up. I\'m not the person that I\'ll sit down and do it hundreds of times. Because like you say, reading the book seems easy doing, it\'s a lot harder. But it makes sense. Like, from a medical perspective, it kind of make, it still makes sense. When I put my science hat on is what I\'m trying to say. As well as my, well yeah, of course that sort of makes sense because it sort of just feels like it would.
But actually from a perspective of, yeah, is there enough scientific evidence behind it for me to actually take it seriously to believe in it enough to actually do it. And I think for me as a scientist first, even though, well not a scientist first, I guess. As somebody who has been through a science education. That I do have to not, it can\'t just be like, people use the word woohoo.
It can\'t just feel like, it\'s just people saying stuff because you know, of thinking about rich philosophy. It\'s gotta be grounded on something more than that. I think that this is very much that. There is nothing, there\'s nothing that what you are saying here, that doesn\'t make sense on many levels to me. And so that\'s what I think makes it so powerful as well.
Dave Nyss: Yeah. I think it\'s really interesting as you. Like, I focus on what is the missing piece? What is making it hard? And there\'s lots of information out there. And one of the things is that is, which is tricky when you are explaining stuff. Is actually to, what am I leading out when I\'m explaining stuff?
You know? There was a famous physicist when they said about, you know, where do I start? You know, what assumptions do I have around anything? You can start, like if you start with math. Do I just assume you know about fractions. Or do I need to teach you fractions or do I need to teach you numbers? Or where do I start in this?
And so every conversation starts at a point of assumption that you know something in that place. You know, that sort of belief system. And so when I share something to you, I\'m giving you something which is incomplete all the time. And so if I don\'t do that, what will happen, fully, you will then fill in the incompleteness with your view of life.
You will not see that you haven\'t got what I\'ve sent to you. You\'ve got half of what you\'ve got and half of what I\'ve sent you. And you\'ll, sit there happily going, nodding at me, yeah, yeah, I totally get that Dave. But it\'s only when you go into action where you realize you don\'t get the same results as me. So therefore there must be something missed in, in that transmission.
And so following that principle, I realized that I need to teach people that process of, you almost need to rehearse. And if you get anxious when you\'re rehearsing, it means you haven\'t fully understood it. Because what that means is there\'s a path of your mind, which is mainly referred to an ego, and there are very few, there\'s lots of definitions about ego.
But I heard one which is really good. Which is all the beliefs in your mind, which represent your sense of self. So if you imagine not collecting all the beliefs you\'ve got in the world to say, right, all these belong to me. I\'m an introvert. You know, I like eating cheese at night. So I can\'t have caffeine. I\'m not one of those people.
All of that comes together. And inside our head is Dave\'s sense of me. Now if I imagine any situation that I don\'t believe I can cope with, my ego makes me anxious. So it\'s a test that you can do before you do anything. You can actually imagine doing it. If you get anxious, it means that your sense of self doesn\'t believe you can do it.
Now, we can override that because we\'ve learned to be positive. But in the crucial moment, your sense of self may actually pop out. You can override it with willpower. But if you look at elite athletes, they can\'t afford for their sense of self to pop out. Just as they\'re about to, you know, run the final Olympic 100 meters. Or you\'re just about to do a downhill run in, again in the Olympics.
And so one of the things I say to people, if you\'re about to feel anxious, don\'t override it. It\'s a clue, a signal. There is some belief in your body that says you can\'t do it. Therefore we can diagnose what that is before you live your life. And the problem is that we\'ve overrided these signals for years and years and years.
And so some of the things that we think is normal to feel anxious about, we just don\'t even stop to bother to think about it. You know, like imposter syndrome. I\'m always surprised even some famous podcasters people claim, yeah, yeah, I\'ve got imposter syndrome. Well, why not get rid of it? Why, do you say, yes, I\'ve got it, and I have to live with it.
As a coach, you are taught, actually, there\'s a belief that you can get rid of anything you want to. As long as your client wants to get rid of it and sees a benefit in it. And this comes back to this knowing that there\'s a thread of unconscious brilliance that comes through all us that has no boundaries.
And that\'s the most weirdest thing. Every time I share something, there is say to people, there\'s no boundaries to your talent. Now we, like in the world that we live in, it\'s really difficult to grasp that. Given what your effect of schooling. Yeah, and the way things are banded and everyone\'s put into the average. No one goes and says, look, why can\'t we move everyone out of average into, I dunno what the right words is beyond brilliant, you know. It\'s weird.
And so you\'re constantly fighting against what I call the social myth of society. To realize that everyone\'s got their own unique bit of brilliance. That when they sit with, they just feel easy. You feel alive, you feel peaceful. You know, as opposed to anxious. But we\'ve got so used to feeling anxious all the time. We don\'t recognize these times of peace, you know.
Dr Steve Day: Yeah. I wanted to lead into a couple of things you\'ve had there. Because I think it\'s spike of so many ideas as you\'re speaking. But an example of a conversation I had today with a particular client. And I went into this conversation and those anxiety, those doubts that they\'re creeping in. Like, am I able to actually offer value to this particular person? Because of their business and what they\'re currently trying to work on, et cetera.
And what I was able to do, thankfully, was to take the conversation into an area where I feel I\'m in my zone of genius. And to talk about what I can, I feel I can add the most value to them as a business. And then it was up to them to decide if they wanted that.
I didn\'t say, this is what I\'m gonna do for you. I just said, this is the area where I can add the most value. And then they took the conversation into that area and to say like how beneficial it would be to have help in that particular field. In what I see myself as to be sound a genius. And, but I never really thought about that before. Until you just literally talked about like that similar scenario happens, you know, from time to time again.
And if you don\'t, if I don\'t do that, if I try and please that person who\'s sat in front of you. And especially as a, when you\'re doing sales, when you\'re trying to get a customer in or whatever, and you, and they say, oh, I want this. It\'s so easy to say yes. It\'s so easy to fit you into them. Rather than actually say, no, this is where I am and this is the me at my absolute best. Is that what you need? And I think that, yeah, go, on. Sorry.
Dave Nyss: No, no. I think there\'s a deep thread through all of us, which is this people pleasing. And I don\'t like that term. But it\'s inherent and it\'s subtle in many ways. Where we\'ve given up, our needs for other peoples. Because we think life is about that sort of, you know, especially we love people or friendships. We\'ll do what they do rather than anything else.
However, I realized there\'s another view. Which is if you actually hold onto your passion, your place for your brilliant, you can encourage people to come over to your place. And also, it\'s almost their moment of brilliance as well. So it\'s not just, you know, you are happy or I\'m happy. You can actually have, we\'re both happy but it requires you to, in that moment of anxiety.
And I\'ve been in plenty of places. We\'ve all been that way where we\'ve got to close the deal or else we\'ve got money problems and things like that. And therefore we go, okay, the client\'s really dogmatic, maybe they trigger us. Because of character in the past saying, okay, this is what I want to do, Steve.
And you know, that isn\'t what you want to do. But they\'re so insistent that part of you can just flip into people pleasing and you lost the deal. Rather than learning something that to maybe breathe a bit and just go, okay, before we talk about that, I just want to make you aware of this. And that awareness piece comes first.
Not the pitching piece. But awareness that actually all your problems come from you not having a blueprint for your business. Really, how\'s that? Because all your case is because you don\'t have this blueprint. But when you are panicking, what do I do today? There it is mapped out on one of Steve\'s nice blueprints.
You turn to the right page and go, oh yes, I\'m making a phone call. And there it is. It just reminds you. And I find for myself, I just look at that and I, I just relax. Because I go, oh yes, it\'s familiar. It\'s not different. And one of the things we do, it\'s almost is if, okay, I have no science for this. A lot of these things are just anecdotal. But it\'s almost like when I get anxious, I get disconnected.
It\'s like I\'ve been disconnected from the wifi of life. So one of the stories I say to people is, imagine what happens when your phone becomes disconnected from the wifi. And you\'re wandering around somewhere looking for directions. Instantly you panic. I dunno what to do here. Oh my God, I, and immediately your mind just imagines the worst scenarios.
They don\'t imagine, oh, I might bump into someone who\'s gonna give me a thousand pounds and invite me in or give me a car. We always imagine the worst scenarios in that situation. And that\'s what I say to people. When we\'re in this, what I call red energy looping, we\'re always gonna imagine the worst scenarios. And it\'s become part of techniques in business to do all this risk evaluation.
I now realize, yeah, that\'s one thing to do. But you have to realize that\'s just one mode of your mind operating. And if you connect back to the wifi and you\'ve got a signal like satnav. No one sits in their car looking at their satnav, doubting whether directions are turn left, turn right. You just follow it blindly. And that\'s the analogy I say to people.
When you are in flow, you are blindly following an internal signal to you that you don\'t know that is the case. And that\'s why I talk to people about, what happens when you\'re in flow is you are just absolutely connected to this internal signal called intuition. Which is bypassing your mind and telling your body exactly what to do on autopilot.
And it\'s only when you have this, pullback where your sense of self says, hang on a minute. I\'m about to do something I\'ve never done before. Am I actually capable of that? And now you\'re into this other mode of working, which is doubting everything. It\'s like oil and water. The two systems don\'t work the same.
And if you try and articulate your flow system with the same words as your, what I call your red energy anxiety system, they just work to the two together. And it was only when I came across this funnel piece of work that basically said you just need to flip from one to the other. While you\'re in the red energy anxiety, you are always trying to fix everything. Basically to please someone or do something.
Whereas if you suddenly just flip out a flow. Best example I would say is your kid\'s running in the room. You know, there\'s, you know, as a parent, your kid\'s running up and give you a hug. There\'s a great way to just be set.
My dad, when he was in his nineties, he had all sorts of problems as you would imagine growing old. I remember that as soon as he got a phone call from my daughters, like his grandchildren, he loved it. He it like he was in a completely different world. He could be moaning. His body could be in pain.
As soon as he stayed on the phone, he\'d forgotten that. He was back to being a younger person. And I think we, we don\'t realize that, we\'re just one thought away from everything falling into place, you know. We think it\'s hard work. But actually when we can train ourselves, I\'m just one thought away from an aha. One awareness from a very simple way to solve that.
And I think that\'s, you know, that\'s everything behind what you do. And it\'s also where I\'m showing people, well, from a sort of, there are people who console things. So almost I feel myself that when I go and help people thinking, they then go, well, who do I need services? Do I need to buy to fill in the gaps in my life?
Which then, you know, where we start collaborating. Because I think there\'s a real crossover. But people are not just buying expertise to make their life easier and safer, you know, and more enjoyable.
Dr Steve Day: Yeah, absolutely. Brilliant. And, one thing that came to mind is a real practical example of this. And this is something that I\'m good.
One of the things I really struggle with, I know you mentioned about having a business plan and stuff. Like I\'m really good at the operational stuff. And that\'s primarily what I do. Where one of the things I constantly struggle with is about actually thinking, okay, which direction should I take the business?
And I think what you just described then is that is like a real, everyday example for so many of us business owners. Is there is an infinite number of options out there of what we could do. And, you know, at certain times you mentioned like the word being in flow. Like sometimes it\'s just like, I don\'t even have to think about what I\'m gonna do in the next weeks.
It\'s just like, it\'s so obvious to me. Then a lot of times I\'m just questioning and doubting and I\'m like, especially like, you know, AI is everything at the moment. And it\'s like, okay, I\'ll just stop. I\'ll stop my entire business. I\'m gonna spend six months just absolutely nailing AI. Then I\'ll start the business again.
Like, and then he is like, and then you, so you\'re basic flitting between all these. These, some of them completely insane options. Some of them like possibly viable and some of them just overly sensible. Almost it\'s like, and somewhere and, something in between. and so I think this, like what you described then, like that is a, it, for me is something that.
I\'m not able to see in the way that you\'ve just described. Just actually to be able to then figure out, okay, which, how do I actually listen? I guess the question is how do I actually find that flow and be confident that the way I\'m going. Is the way to go. Like that\'s the real life application I think of what you are talk, what you\'re talking about here.
I may not be possible to answer that in a very short Well, no, I think, but it was just an example that is happening for me right now. and would, love to, yeah. Any, thoughts at all?
Dave Nyss: It\'s a really good question and it\'s that kind of hard. But I think one of the things like, you know, one of the things that, that I realized, for myself and I, didn\'t know it, I\'d already had solved it, is I quite often go to cafes and I said to people, I\'m gonna have an espresso and a cross in the morning. And I\'d sit and I\'d scribble ideas. And I realized that when I\'m scribbling ideas, that is me. not in this red energy state is what I call, to my client\'s purple energy state, which is where I\'m just, doodling ideas.
It feels very frivolous, but actually, You could then take a little scribble of idea, which feels good, and, it\'s just come out of you into something that\'s, more well-formed so that, you know, and I have a way of teaching that to people in terms of what I call this. A quest, which starts with a scribble, and then you build it out so that it stands, this, you know, it is almost like giving birth to an idea.
You know, it\'s got to stand up and it\'s got to be all these cynical people out there. And it\'s got to also, there\'s part of you actually is building your sense of self so you can actually carry that idea into, into the future. And one of the things I\'ve come to myself realize is that. This may sound a bit strange, is humans evolved by ambition, from ambition to ambition.
So once we\'ve had one ambition, we have another ambition. But based on the thinking I\'ve explained earlier, that means by definition our mind won\'t be configured in my words. So to have that ambition, there\'ll be lots of filters, we\'ll have to clean out the way, and if we\'re not careful, we can, we can go into a doubtful mood.
And then we\'re, just, Designing all sorts of complications around something, you know, to save the world or do something out. And I realized the best ambitions are just to have fun. They\'re not to solve the world. They\'re having fun. And you look at stories all the way through history. Most amazing inventions just come from people having fun, you know.
And that\'s the biggest blocker in business. We all start our own business, we have a bit of fun, then it gets serious. Then we get involved in, people say, you must be serious, Dave. We\'ve gotta write a 50 page business plan to be serious. And I arrive, I did that once and right at the end I realized it was the wrong idea.
So I\'d spent the whole weekend to get this. So I then rewrote it, you know, and then got some funding to invest in my business. but that\'s an example of, also where sometimes you\'ll do something and it only at the end you realize, oh, that\'s the wrong thing, and you throw it away and it\'s not a mistake.
It\'s part of that creativity. So in business we have this language is, you made a mistake that\'s bad. You know, how could you possibly do that? Whereas I like to introduce more of a creative stance, you know, that was like half an idea. Now I throw it away, but it was laddering up. To me actually finding the right idea, you know, and, so much in, in business is wrapped around this we cannot fail mentality, which for most people just causes us to limit ourselves and do what is safe rather than, find a way into this unconscious brilliance, which looking back is something I.
I\'m not sure how I found it, but I just found that actually turning complex Text pro projects around was that I managed amongst all this sort of, it\'s all going wrong and everyone\'s blaming everyone. I could just zone out and find a way forward, you know? I think that\'s available to all of us in that sense.
But it\'s a real danger when you\'re working on your own that you can quite easily go into this red zone and have something really complicated, but it\'s not in your interest. Somehow you serving other people. And it may sound selfish to most people, but I believe that if you are designing something for your own joint pleasure, it will have benefit to other people because some person will need it.
Dr Steve Day: I really love that concept of that. It should all be fun. if you could, literally like live by that mantra with regards to business, then you end up inevitably being in your zone of genius because the things that you find are easiest and the most fun are typically the things you\'re best at.
Yeah. And so if you could stay in that zone and. Attract people who need that thing that you are doing. That\'s their, secret sauce. That\'s their win-win completely. Like you, you can\'t go wrong because you\'re doing the thing that you love to do and you\'re best at. And the people that you\'ve drawn to you. Because of you, your excitement and or enjoyment of that thing. And the fact that they see a need in themselves for that thing without you changing who you are and molding to fit them.
That\'s the formula. I think you\'ve nailed it.
Dave Nyss: Yeah. Yeah. And, I sense the reason why people, there are lots of books out there who described that, but it\'s described in a woowoo frame and therefore high achievers like you and I having self. Well, where\'s the science behind that? Where\'s the logic behind that?
And so what I realized is that you have to construct a logic behind that in a belief system that people already believe. And this is one of the abstract things about selling. Selling yourself to people who don\'t believe that you can make a difference in their business. You have to understand how people, make a decision of yes.
And how people make a decision of no. And then you, when you understand that psychology, you and you\'re on this journey, and no as well, you can get people who pay really large amounts of money for what you think is your thing, which is trivial. You find it easy to do, but you then start selling for on real value rather than.
Some form of price gets downing, which gives you a little bit of extra in terms of profit where you can invest in other things. And I know you\'ve been on that journey for the past, you know, three to five years. And once you\'ve got a little bit of extra money in your in, in the way that your daily operation works, you can invest it wisely in other people who can then make life easy.
And then suddenly you are on an upward spiral all the time. You know, everything you do just contributes to success rather than this up and down. And that\'s what I\'m really passionate about, is moving people into this sort of, what one of my clients talked about, this virtuous upward cycle of success ladder, which get successfully to success, lead to success.
You just have to understand a few things which are difficult and go against the grain of what society\'s about, but once you make that flip, everything else, becomes a lot easier.
Dr Steve Day: Yeah. And you know, one of the reasons I got really interested in what you\'re talking about is we\'re almost attacking the same issue, but from very different perspectives or different angles.
And one of the challenges that you\'ve alluded to as well, that many of my clients out there overcome is this concept of, hard work. Like you say, if I\'m not struggling, then I\'m not doing the right thing, or if I\'m struggling, I must be doing something right. That\'s sort of like being, but it\'s almost being busy.
It\'s like there is, and I\'ve worn that badge of honor, you know, for a cliche phrase for many years. And like the harder I worked, the more successful I felt regardless of what actually was happening. and so that is is again, going back to the whole thing about conditioning, it\'s about rewiring. How we see the world about how we make decisions and yeah.
All that jazz. So yeah, absolutely. Fascinating.
Dave Nyss: Yeah. No, that, that. Hard work badge goes so deep. You know, as I say to people, like, like even at school, if you\'ve got a bad result, if you did your best, worked hard, then that\'s to get our jail card. You know, like, and I believe now that\'s profoundly wrong advice in that sense, you know?
But it, but all of these beliefs exist at such a deep level in our consciousness. When we\'re under stress, we go back to what is out there. and it takes a while in coaching to remove those beliefs. Once you believe that, you know, you don\'t need hard work. And I\'ve got some clients who, you know, who, are almost like family pressure from, parents who have been accessible and they just say, well, you\'re not working hard enough.
That\'s what you need to do is if that\'s the magic thing. And you know that, and I know that\'s not, not. true anymore. It\'s, and especially as life got more and more complicated, it\'s actually this simple thing which I go to people, if you are stressed, you\'re on the wrong path. There\'s no need to be anxious about anything.
And if you are, you just need to look at the beliefs inside of your body that says to you that you won\'t cope with this, that you will. You\'ll somehow fail and instead flip it and go, actually I might fail, but I might actually learn something in that failure, which is the necessary next step.
So there\'s no absolute failure point. There\'s just a, oh, that\'s what I need to do differently. You know? And the more when you look around us, like, when. Of all the people involved in business, the most Nike thing was told to be by a story of one of my clients who worked in the aircraft industry, who, who made companies, who made black boxes.
And he said that the, health and safety in the aviation industry has just improved dramatically when you look over the last 50 years because every crash was investigated, every airplane had a box inside that you could analyze why it went wrong, and then no amount of money or time or spare to find it and then publicize to everyone.
His view of simple view was, which seems amazing, is if we did that in business, there would be no business failures, and that was the first time someone shifted my awareness to say, well, we don\'t need to fail at business. As soon as I had that thought, I thought. What is the process so we don\'t fail in business?
And that\'s been driving me and now I believe I\'ve got it. And I know I have because you and I share the same page. So what, I call is when I first share with people the idea of inevitable success. They think it\'s like a roulette bill, but we know it\'s not. so yeah, it\'s fascinating.
Dr Steve Day: Cool. Well on that bombshell of the inevitable success, I\'m going to, say thank you very much, Dave, for coming along. But before you say, before you do, say goodbye, please let people know how they can get in contact with you if they wanna talk to you or find out more about what you do.
Dave Nyss: Sure. Steve, thanks. Yeah, it\'s been great, having conversation with you as ever. yeah, easiest ways to connect with me on LinkedIn. Send me a message. If there\'s anything in here that resonated or you\'d like to explore with me, then please. Just reach out with a message. Simple as that.
Dr Steve Day: Cool. And is it just Dave Nyss?
Dave Nyss: Yeah, Dave Nyss. real learning. it\'s quite unique. I don\'t, I hated my name when I was younger, but it\'s quite nice as I\'ve got older that it\'s quite unique to find me on LinkedIn, so, yeah.
Dr Steve Day: And Nyss spelled N-Y-S-S in case you wanna go searching.
Dave Nyss: Yeah.
Dr Steve Day: Awesome.
Dave Nyss: Yes, that\'s true.
Dr Steve Day: And again, following on from the inevitable success, the name of this podcast is Systemize Your Success. But one final question for you is, what does success mean to you?
Dave Nyss: Success means to me is actually just, I would say being at peace with myself.
Like, having great conversations. We\'ve had loads of conversations together and I feel really blessed that I wake up every day. I now, have great conversations with people. I go to bed smiling and chuckling about the day. And that for me is success, more than anything else. it brings with it to all sorts of benefits.
Money is improving, other things improving. But just being okay with yourself, that\'s kind of special.
Dr Steve Day: Very cool. Thanks, Dave. Pleasure speaking.
Dave Nyss: All right. Thanks, Dave. Yeah, cheers. Bye.
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LINKS TO CONNECT WITH THE GUEST
- Website: http://www.reallearning.co.uk
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davenyss/
ABOUT THE GUEST
Dave Nyss is the founder of Real Learning and creator of the Always Thrive Framework, helping high-performing leaders reach peak performance while building stress-resilient, purpose-led businesses.
With 15+ years of coaching experience, as well as his background as Projects Director at a FTSE 250 tech company, Dave blends strategic clarity with intuitive insight to support ambitious founders and senior leaders. His work helps them turn stress into a useful signal, unlock sustainable high performance, and grow in a way that aligns with their values.
LINKS TO CONNECT WITH THE HOST
- Podcast: https://www.systemizeyoursuccess.com
- Website: https://systemsandoutsourcing.com/
- Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/systemsandoutsourcing/
- LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/company/systemsandoutsourcing/
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- YouTube: https://youtube.com/@drsteveday42
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ABOUT THE HOST
Steve moved to Sweden in 2015 and transformed how he ran his businesses—switching to a fully remote model. A former NHS doctor, with a background in computing and property investing, he now helps overwhelmed business owners systemise and outsource effectively. Additionally, through his courses and coaching, Steve teaches how to automate operations and work with affordable virtual assistants, freeing up time and increasing profits. He runs his UK-based businesses remotely with support from a team of UK and Filipino VAs. He is also passionate about helping others build scalable, stress-free companies using smart systems and virtual support.
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